More than 100,000 people are feared dead in Haiti after the 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit on Tuesday just after 5pm. Devastating pictures and videos have been shown across the world and many people have come together to help in Haiti’s time of need. As I’m reading reports about the after-math and how Haiti has been affected by this earthquake, there is one point that stands out to me.

I keep hearing reports that a prison holding almost 4,000 inmates collapses and the inmates fleed the scene. All I can think when I read or hear this is “of course they fled”. What really bothers me, is that these reporters are making it sound like the prisoners should not have escaped. In other words, those prisoners should have died in the prison that collapsed. This is beyond unbelievable to me. Those are human beings and yes I understand that after any crisis there is the fear of violence as all the citizens scramble to use the last bit of resources available. But that released inmate is someones brother, a childs father…we do not know these inmates and what they have done (if anything) to be punished. So how dare anyone ever proclaim that those men should not have escaped that prison after the earthquake hit. Any sensible person would escape and look for their families and try to help. Everyone has the right to live.

Aside from this problem, its really moving to see that people are coming together to help the citizens of Haiti. It came to my attention today that charities are only required to give 15% of the donations received to the cause they are promoting. This is outrageous to me, but after hearing this I was a little reluctant to give any of my hard earned money to any charity organization. I think the fact that I’m even doubting a charity is disgusting, but I still want to help in some way. So I’m opening this post up to you all…please post any charities or ways to get involved that you have heard about so we can all try to help out in some way….

So around this time of year the malls are filled with crazed shoppers, children playing and hoping for the presents they’ve been wishing for, people reflecting on their year and their new years resolutions….happiness all around. For me this time of the year is filled with mixed emotions….sadness, reflection, happiness, pride, etc. One emotion that never fails me around this time is sadness.
The sadness comes from being reminded that so many people are not joyous around the holidays. The radio waves are filled with callers needing gifts, mothers crying to the radio jocks for presents for their kids because the little money they make has to pay the bills. For those that are barely getting by, this is not a joyous time. Many people are reminded of the family members and close friends they have lost, because those people made the holidays special.
Im always grateful for life, I love my life and everyone in it. I’m thankful for the people around me and those that inspire me to work harder. Ive always felt that true success is shown when one can give back to their community or the world in a way that helps others.
What always amazes me the most, is that I always see people that are barely getting by themselves, helping others. This makes me think that those who barely have, understand the struggle and understand how a lending hand can mean the world to someone else. Those that have more money (this does not apply to ALL people that are so-called “rich”) are so far removed from the struggles of life that they forget the struggles that so many others endure on a regular basis.
I want to take this time to be grateful and thankful for knowledge and open eyes. Im thankful for all the wonderful people in my life. I’m thankful for those that help others. Im so grateful for each day on earth and I’m thankful for all the wisdom and knowledge passed down to me by those that have passed on to. Lets all take this time to reflect on our blessings…and how we can help others in the new year. A helping hand can be a simple smile to a stranger, helping a local organization in their efforts or just a kind word to someone that needs it.

Peace and Blessings to you all!

Ok so I just had a dinner date with one of my best friends. As usual we caught each other up on whats going on and how we’ve been, you know, dating, money, jobs, fashion, friends…stuff like that. We started talking about friendships we have and how sometimes you just have to let friends go. We are constantly growing and learning, and sometimes our “friends” are not growing at the same pace. Unfortunately they might be left behind. We reminisced on friendships we had in high school and how so many people have changed dramatically since then.

We then started talking about current friends and how sometimes there’s an underlying competition between friends…especially when it comes to success and dating. WHY IS THIS?! From what I’m hearing, there are friends out there that only form friendships with certain types of people to make themselves look and feel better about themselves. This is some BS! This is why my mother always told me to choose my friends wisely.

Ive heard people (especially females) make comments like “yea she can be in our circle shes pretty”, and I’ll admit that I have joked around like that. But I’m learning that there are actual people who feel that way and choose friends according to how they look, status, etc. Call me old-fashioned, but I like having friends that look differently, like different things, have opposing opinions and the list goes on and on. Part of why I love my friends and forming new friendships, is that I’m constantly learning new things and more about myself through my friends. If all my friends were exactly the same…I think I would have a miserable life.

Unfortunately, this conversation also made me look at some friendships Ive had over the years, and wonder if all of my friends have become my friends for the right reasons. I’d like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character and I dont take BS from people, so I’ve come to the conclusion that all the close friends I have now are in my life for a reason. I think I have weeded out the unneccessary friends that just brought drama to my life…and to that I’m letting out a big sigh of relief. To all my friends, I love you dearly, and even if I dont talk to you that often, just know that I always pray for my friends and I love you all! XOXO

Okay so last week I went to an event where I met a man and we randomly started talking. He was an older gentleman, very sweet and smart, the mentor type. We started talking about a young girl that he mentors who is dealing with the “wrong men”. She actually has a young man that is chasing after her who is great, but shes not attracted to him. This gentleman (let me name him Mr. Q for now) is telling me that this guy looks like the perfect catch on paper…good job, great personality, humor, educated, driven, etc. What more could a girl ask for? Well Mr. Q tells me that unfortunately this young woman is dealing with a man that is simply put all wrong for her. He treats her like crap, isn’t driven at all, doesn’t help her in any way, shape or form. So Mr. Q then begins to explain to me the difference between the “Real Deal” and a “Situation”.
The first young man is a “Real Deal”. He is someone that is a young woman would want for the long run (according to Mr. Q). The “situation” is just for now, he could never be a long-term mate because he simply put “doesn’t have his Sh*t together”. Then Mr. Q turn to me and asks what I typically deal with…. am I typically attracted to the “Real Deals” or the “Situations”?
I don’t know why this question caught me so off-guard because its not like I haven’t thought about this topic before. Why does it seem like we as women AND men are not attracted to the “Real Deal”? Ive had numerous conversations with some of my closest male and female friends and Ive come to the conclusion that for the most part, we as humans are interested in the challenge of mating. We’re told for so long that nothing good comes easy, so we look for the not-so-simple SITUATIONS in hopes that with some hard work and time they will become THE REAL DEAL.
Mr. Q taught me a valuable lesson that night…you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Ladies and gentlemen, we do not have the ability to change people. If a man is a liar in the beginning of the relationship, there’s nothing you can do to change him, he has to want to change on his own…and honestly if hes a liar WTH are you doing in that relationship anyway? If a woman doesn’t call you as much as you want her too, you can complain and give her the cold shoulder all you want, but shes got to reach her own epiphany on her own time to realize that there’s a problem.
So what am I saying? YOU (of course I’m including myself in this conclusion) CANNOT CHANGE HIM/HER! You’re only wasting your time if you try. If you really love that person, youve got to take the good with the bad and somehow make compromises. Ive seen way too many of my friends get hurt because of a failed relationships for this very reason, but this conversation with Mr. Q really made me realize how hard we make life for ourselves.

Well think on it…have you ever consciously or unconsciously tried to change someone?
I’m still learning and growing, so please…leave a comment, we might teach each other something.

“The face of a lover is an unknown, precisely because it is invested with so much of oneself. It is a mystery, containing, like all mysteries, the possibility of torment”.- James Baldwin

TOODLES, until next time. XOXOXO

Okay so Thursday night I attended a reception for Jesse Jackson with the Rainbow Push Coalition. It was a nice reception with affluent young and old African Americans from all walks of life. It was more of a mixer than anything else, but Mr. Jackson did give a speech toward the end. Although Jesse Jackson has been under scrutiny for some comments he made about Obama, we shouldn’t forget that he was a serious voice in the civil rights movement. During his speech he spoke about some things that have changed since segregation, but the need for more improvement. While I stood there and looked around the room at all these influential people, I was a little shocked to feel no sense of urgency among these people. There was the occasional head nod and smile…but Jesse Jackson was talking about change! Where did this complacency come from? Some forty years ago, the crowd would have been shouting and excited. He was talking about our poor education systems and the divide of the society between the rich and poor. What really bothered me about the crowds reaction during this speech, was that it made me realize that theres a serious divide between those who have and those who do not. Even among people of the same race, theres a divide which is making it difficult for us as a people to make any type of progress.
It makes me so sad to see African Americans that have reached a certain level of wealth and power, who forget where they came from. They then pass on the “every man for himself” mentality to their wealthy children who then only learn to relate to wealthy Europena children and are then completely disconnected from the African American community. I feel like this divide is slowly but surely becoming a serious problem, something like skin color and the brown paper bag test.
What good is your wealth and power if you’re not using it for any good? Money can come and go all within a few hours, but time is the one element we cannot somehow control. Taking time out to simply volunteer or somehow let peple know that you care about their well-being is the most precious gift anyone can give. Time is more valuable than money, it’s the only thing we don’t get back. This is just my little rant for the day, I really think theres a serious disconnect in society that’s divided by class and status. People let’s get out there and volunteer, it really doesn’t take a lot of effort to find an organization that’s trying to make a difference.
Would you rather have a lot of money if it means that someone else is broke and feeling helpless, or would you rather be comfortable and know that someone else was helped in the process?

Good Day People!
So I decided to start blogging because lately Ive been involved in different forums and discussions dealing with different subjects, so I thought what better way to get some of these opinions out there than to blog about it.
I love debating and learning to understand different opinions and ways of life is an amazing process to me. I love exploring so this blog will be about different events I go to as well.
If you have something to say about any of these posts, leave a comment and let the dialogue begin!